you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
