it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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