I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
