I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't think brook has ever known best
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
