Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
