That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize