when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
