Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
