he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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