So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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