And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
