Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So. Much. Porn.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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