I accidentally had phone sex last night
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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