ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
