I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize