I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
