You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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