Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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