is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Farmville is her only friend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
