So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize