Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize