i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
