Whod you bang
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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