I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
