Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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