i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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