I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
