lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize