I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
