I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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