she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize