eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
