Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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