a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
