I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
