now i know why i became what i already was.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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