her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
