"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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