It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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