im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
