you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I believe in your delicious
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
