You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
ttyl tear gas
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
