How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
