How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
