Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
