We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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