First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
