i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
