when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize