so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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