once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize