She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
