I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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