I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize