Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
