Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize