Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
