everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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