This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
