I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
