? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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