He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
