i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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