My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
